This new life has definately made for some really great days, and usually I can overlook crappy spots in an overall good day. However today, everything just about sucks.
Have you ever wanted to just disappear? Or hide under a rock and let a lifetime pass you by? Yeah, that is my day today.
It started with a bad cup of tea... proceeded by me hitting a car from behind. I hit my face off the steering wheel but no real injuries occured. My car on the other hand is a mess. The only good thing out of it was that my chunk wasn't with me. I don't know what I would have done if anything happened to him. He is the best thing that ever happened to me, something told me to let him stay home and I am glad I listened.
Its pretty sad when only a select few people ask if you are alright, and tell you over and over again that its just a material possession. That your life, your safety matters more than a tin piece of crap. Getting to Mirak in my loud dragging car, and having the parts guy/ a really great friend John, look at me with genuine caring/concerned eye and ask if I was ok, meant so much to me.
When you have an accident (not that mine was that bad at all), you put things into perspective and realize that some people are kinder than others. Some people matter more and are worthy of your time and attention. You realize any stupid arguement or hiccup in the road of life may just infact lead you back where you should be. Moreover, you think about where your life is headed and who you want to take with you. Again, the great part of life is that the past can be the past. You can have arguements and hiccups, but what makes it great is that to move on to the future, you don't have to carry all that shit around .You can take bits, pieces, segments, and certain people and move forward. The past doesn't have to define you, but it can help to create a new you, a new life that is fullfilling and exciting.
I realize that I want more of those people in my life. The people that actually want you in their life for nothing other than to make them smile, to have a listening ear, to laugh at their bad jokes, to enjoy coffee together while making fun of the guy with the weird voice, and to overall have a relationship that is a give and take.
Giving and taking is what makes a relationship work- not just a sexual relationship, but that of a friend. You have to have a reciprocal relationship- if not then you just feel walked over.
I'm sick of being walked over. So aside from this sucky day, I found a few bright spots in it. Wow,...who would have thought that I could at the end of the day with tears streaming down my face have a smile and be thinking of moments when this day wasn't all that bad.
Until next time,
There is only love<3
No comments:
Post a Comment